Or are they, really?
Speaking with a male friend over coffee recently he made a remark during our conversation that men really are as simple as they're made out to be; most times all that goes through a man's mind is sex. There was one other thing that goes through the simple man's mind as well, but I can't recall what he said it was!
I'm wondering just how different men and women really are...
Recently I've been an observer of a rather intriguing relationship between a man and a woman. They met online on a dedicated relationship site.
My girlfriend finally met someone; someone she actually liked. By all accounts they had great conversations, they shared a similar sense of humour, had similar morals and values, and shared much in common. She finds him quite attractive (and she tells me he found her attractive as well), and she said that communication between them is open, honest, and pretty straight forward (always important, in my opinion), and they'd both discussed their options and decided to develop the relationship further.
Unfortunately, circumstances changed and the man wasn't able to move to the next stage as they'd discussed. They're both upset by the change in circumstances but it turns out that they both value the friendship they've formed and they've decided that they'd like to maintain that friendship...
I told her it was fantastic as she's always enjoyed the company of men much more easily than the company of women, and she needs someone else in her life other than me to have all those interesting conversations with. Afterall, my opinion doesn't always suit everyone.
Anyway, she had her first coffee since they'd made this decision with him last week.
When I quizzed her about it last night she said some really interesting things about it that got me thinking about the relationship between men and women.
She said that the whole time she was sitting opposite him, and at random times throughout the week since, she's been thinking about what it would be like to kiss him, or have sex with him.
I started wondering whether men and women really can be friends.
Growing up, my father always said men and women can not be friends; my mother on the other hand always thought men and women could be friends. I've always thought they could be friends, but now I'm starting to wonder...
Can men and women be friends?
I think the answer is it depends.
It depends on the level of sexual tension or desire between them. I have male friends that have been my friends for many years without any issues or naughty thoughts whatsoever. Well, I had better clarify that statement: there have been no naughty thoughts on my part therefore no struggle on my part, and if there were issues on the mens' sides then I'm unaware of them. And in saying that, I'll also say that I've always been pretty clueless on picking up any "signals" from men so if the men were struggling then I'd be none the wiser anyway unless they wore flashing neon signs above their foreheads.
On the other hand, I've had other male friends where we've also had sexual relationships at one time or another, and those friendships have also operated equally as well once the sexual element has ceased.
Actually, casting my mind across my friendships with males, I'd have to say that those friendships where sex has been an element at one point or another have been more open and more intimate (in a platonic sense) and far deeper than those where sex hasn't been an element of the friendship. I guess all the barriers and inhibitions get removed when people have sex?
So, my friend is struggling with this new friendship, and personally I think she'll continue to struggle with it until the sexual tension is dealt with; ie: removed.
And she's also proved one thing to me: men and women really aren't too different; women think about sex just as much as men do.
Till next time...
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