As I sit hear on New Year's Day at 6.20am eating my breakfast after a long powerwalk along the Rocks here in Port Macquarie where I'm currently holidaying I start to congratulate myself silently.
I don't congratulate myself for the year gone by; it really was just a waste of a year.
I shouldn't really say that, actually. It was a year of steady as she goes, but little in the way of momentum. I moved forward just a small bit, and it's better than going backwards, I guess.
I didn't save any money or get an additional job that I very much wanted/needed (well, I did, but it doesn't count because 95% of it falls into this new year), I didn't buy a house, I didn't make any investments.
Instead, I congratulate myself on being here.
Don't get me wrong, I never had entertained any morbid thought of self destruction...but sometimes things weigh upon my mind so much that I wonder "how on earth am I going to make it through this?" or think to myself that I simply don't have the energy or mental capacity to deal with it.
I congratulate myself on sticking the course when the going got tough, and tough it has been at times.
I congratulate myself for being enthused enough to seriously establish a new business (launching mid 2013 if all goes well - we'll call it the JGF project). I just need to move my life around a bit to try and fit it in somewhere.
I congratulate myself on standing my ground when I knew I had to and it was the right thing to do and alternatively for having the maturity and common sense of acquiescing when it also required or appropriate.
And finally, I congratulate myself on my children; that they're growing up in a stable and loving environment and not being fucked up by the events that have taken place in our lives over the last few years. I've managed to shield them from it all and provide for them as though nothing ever happened to us. In my mind this last one deserves the biggest pat on the back.
As for the year ahead, well, I hope it's a good one, although I do fear it will be more of the same with a crumbling world economy on the horizon.
As for new years resolutions well they're always broken so I've not really made any this year.
Goals are different, however.
Three weeks ago I started working out and training again and modifying my diet so I can lose 10kg (all the weight I put on after I gave up smoking 2 years ago!!). I'm determined to complete this by end March and maintain it for the year. I'm determined to remain cigarette free (although that will be easy because the stench of it really makes me sick these days - it's just disgusting).
Another goal I have is to launch the JGF Project before 30 June, but this is somewhat out of my hands as it really will depend on the state of the economy I think.
And my final goal is to continue to be the best mum I can be and provide a stable and happy environment for my kids to grow up in....again, this really is probably the most important of the 3 goals.
And my wish list for the year?
I wish Julia Gillard would call an election at the earliest possible opportunity.
I wish that Malcolm Turnbull would leave the Liberal Party.
I wish that Barry O'Farrell steps down and gets replaced by Gladys Berijiklian (I think she's a gun!).
I wish to win the Lotto, OzLotto or Powerball.
So, there you have it...another year in review.
Happy New Year.
Till Next Time...
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